Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The TRUE Thoughts Of The Non Competitive Runner

There are so many times I go outside ready to run and my mind gets the better of me.  I can easily come up with every excuse in the book as to why NOT to run.  There's scary people on the path when it's dark out, the coyotes might get me, laundry, work, dinner...you name it and I've made the excuse.

Recently, I've forced myself to become a little more dedicated into getting both feet in my sneakers and starting the run.  For those of you who have run races with me, you know my mentality...I play games to get myself motivated.  Be it trying to pass the person in front of me, doing sprinting and running intervals, singing a song (haha most of the time it's silently) or setting mini goals, it's literally the only way I can keep my mind off of what I'm actually doing.  My opinion...you do whatever it takes to get the job done!  It doesn't matter your pace or the thoughts that go through your head...if you took the first step and actually started running you're ahead of the majority of the population!

Today my friend Michell shared the following link with me (http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinchack/thoughts-every-jogger-has-while-out-for-a-running) and I literally laughed out loud reading it because truthfully, I can COMPLETELY relate!

75 Thoughts Every Runner Has When Out For A Run

1. What a beautiful day for a run!
2. This sucks.
3. Well, five miles is only two and half miles each way, which is basically two miles each way, so I’m really only running four miles. That’s not too far.
4. It’s starting to feel far.
5. How long have I been running? A year?
6. SIX MINUTES?! 
7. I can barely remember what my life was like before I started this run.
8. OK, concentrate. There are still four-plus miles to go. 
9. But who counts the first and last mile? This is pretty much an easy three miler.
10. Oh, shit! A fellow jogger!
11. Should I wave?
12. I’m totally gonna wave.
13. OOOK, they didn’t wave back. Never doing that again.
14. Just keep running, no one saw. Except that old guy who may or may not be averting his eyes.
15. Man, I think I’m hitting that “second wind” thing my gym coach was talking about.
16. Wait, never mind. I’ve been running down a decline. 
17. If I leap to avoid dog shit, does that make me a CrossFit athlete?
18. What the heck is CrossFit anyway?
19. Mental reminder: Google CrossFit when I get home.
20. If I ever get home.
21. If I had a heart attack right now, I wonder who would find my body.
22. OMG, I hope I never find a dead body. Joggers always find dead bodies.
23. Bodies. Body. Bod-ay. Runnin’ all day, no one can catch … may.
24. OK, I must be halfway done by now.
25. What?! Only two miles in?
26. Alright, stay focused. What am I going to eat when I get home?
27. I’m running five miles so I should probably eat five slices of pizza.
28. Or I could buy one pizza and ask them to cut it into five slices.
29. I should probably get a side salad too. 
30. …
31. Fuck the salad actually.
32. Man, what are these people doing in front of me? Walking?!
33. Is this a contest to see who’s the worst at walking? Because you are both champions in my heart.
34. Maybe if I pound my feet on the ground they’ll hear me coming and let me pass.
35. Oh, God. They didn’t turn around and now I’m right behind them. They’re going to think they’re getting mugged by the world’s sweatiest criminal.
36. You know what? Now seems like a good time to run in the street.
37. * Jumps off curb * Parkour!
38. Hi hi hi please don’t hit me with your car. 
39. Pedestrian pedestrianizing over here, let me cross. 
40. Thank you, Mr. Blue Honda. I’m trying to smile at you but it probably looks like I’m having a stroke. 
41. Actually, I wonder what I look like right now. 
42. * Checks out reflection in shop window * Yeesh.
43. Is that what I look like when I run? What am I, a newborn deer with a drinking problem?
44. Whatever, I must be almost done by now. 
45. Heck yes. Three miles down, two to go. It’s all downhill from here. 
46. Except for that very real uphill in front of me. God damnit.
47. Wait, is that… Is that…
48. A DOG! 
49. Hi dog! You are so cute. You are now my mascot. I will finish this run for you, pup.
50. And — hello — what do we have here? Your human is pretty cute too.
51. Hope you like drunk fawns, Cute Human.
52. Watch my bambi ass prance up this hill.
53. Holy shit, prancing is exhausting. I am exhausted. 
54. Honestly, I don’t even like running.
55. Why do I even run?
56. Why does anyone even run?
57. Why are we even alive?
58. OK, let’s not go down that road.
59. Focus. Focus on that sweet, delicious ‘za waiting at the finish line, calling your name with its cheesy breath.
60. Wait, less than one mile to go? I am KILLING this run. 
61. I AM THE SWIFTEST GOD OF ALL TWO-LEGGED CREATURES.
62. YES, including ostriches.
63. Honestly, I should sign up for a marathon.
64. What is it, like 30 miles?
65. That’s just 15 miles each way, which is practically 10, and 10 is twice five, and I can run five miles EASY.
66. That’s it, I’m doing it. Thirty miles.
67. Thirty-mile marathon…30-mile marathon…30 Rock marathon.
68. On second thought, I’ll probably just binge-watch every episode of 30 Rock. That takes a lot of dedication and I will be winded from laughing so hard.
69. But I could probably do a marathon IF I wanted. 
70. OK, almost home. Should I shower first and order pizza or order pizza and shower before it shows up?
71. Yep, definitely ordering first. I earned that shit.
72. Oh, no. Oh god no. Another runner. Should I wave?
73. No, be strong! Do not get burned again. 
74. OMG, SHE waved first! Hello! Yes! We are both runners! Look at us run!
75. I guess running’s not so bad.

I know most of you can relate to at least thinking SOME of these things when out for a run.  I'm the first to admit, there are times when it flat out sucks and you want to stop, when your mind gets the better of you and you think you can't do it.  The truth is though that your mind will give up 100% of the time before your body does.  Keep your mind engaged in what your goal is and your body will follow!


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